Summa Summa Summatime

Hello.  I’ve missed you.  Like, a lot.  Only for some reason I didn’t realize it until it hit me hard in the face this morning.  And then I had to go to four hours of class.  Figures.  But because of my lack of writing over the summer, I decided that I should definitely do an extensive recap, in the same vein as this, but totally way better.  I’m trying to type fast here, which is hard on a practically empty stomach, plus I’ve got this funky Batman ring on, which is all sorts of awkward, but also all sorts of awesome, but I want to finish this soon because I feel like I owe this to…somebody.  Maybe myself.  So let’s talk about this summer, in depth and in detail:

This summer was so so SO different from last summer.  It was not the best summer of my life, and while I was in it, I didn’t appreciate it at all, but now, looking back, it was pretty fucking golden.  This summer started with tears in the arms of my (now ex-) roommate over having to leave so much of what I had loved and grown comfortable with.  The beginning of summer brought an end to something else; it brought an end to my “rescue year”.  The people and places I encountered through the year saved me time and time again, and leaving them behind was so scary because I knew that when I returned in the fall, everything would be different, would have changed.  And change is very hard for me.  So this summer was a little scary.  This summer I readjusted to being in Dayton, to working there instead of here, to being with those friends more often than BG friends.  This summer I didn’t have a freakin’ CAR for the first month-ish of being home, so I felt isolated and bored and frustrated alot.  My dad took me to and from work, so this summer was kind of like being 14, only I didn’t work when I was 14, so maybe not.  Anyways, this summer there was a Florida family vacation for my oldest sister’s wedding, which was understated and perfect and made me believe in true love and all that icky stuff.  This summer was waves and sand and dinners out and lots and lots of family time in the evenings.  This summer was Coldstone, Coldstone, Coldstone day in, day out, working with some people I knew and loved from last summer and some new people whom I now know and love, too.  There were regulars, Virgil the ice cream machine, a broken freezer door, and in general alot of fun that consisted of the last memories I may ever make there.  This summer was also pretty fattening.  This summer was a drunken late-night walk up ghetto Main Street in search of food; instead we found goth kids and prostitutes.  Not a bad trade-off.  This summer two of my very best friends in the whole wide world left for month long trips to Spain and Cameroon, and I felt stranded without them.  I threw myself into working as much as possible because there was not a whole lot else to do.  This summer I spent so much time with Martha, trying to make up for the fact that we won’t see each other a whole lot this year.  I think the people working at the local cheap movie theater started to recognize our faces this summer because of the sheer amount of nights we went to see crap like Obsessed and 17 Again.  Yes, I paid money to see both of those films.  We all know how I feel about Beyonce, people!  And Zac Efron…well, that was a sacrifice I made for Martha’s sake.  This summer I got Lost in Austen, and MY GOD it was horribly wonderful, and I highly suggest it.  This summer saw the return of the trip to Indian Lake for Martha’s yearly family reunion, which oh my GOD, I have missed.  Her family is HUGE and doesn’t mind when I get drunk on whiskey, and her cousins and uncles all do their best to charm me.  It always works.  This summer was a spectacular camping trip involving sangria and apple pie, as well as dirtbikes and whole flaming tree branches.  I like a mix of classy and hillbilly, sometimes.  I saw this band in concert this summer, only to be severely disappointed when their lead singer acted like a total dick, insulting other bands and actually criticizing the way Columbus was laid out, like when was the last time you worked professionally as a city planner, dude?  Shut your trap.  I spent alot of time this summer lonely for school and school people, which meant I traveled back and forth to Springboro alot to visit my future/now current roommate, after, oh yeah, I GOT A FREAKING CAR!!!  That might have been the highlight of my summer.  That or the time I threw up in an East Side Wendy’s parking lot.  Oh yes.  Highlights galore.  This summer was Gossip Girl, Dorm Life, and Mad Men at the very end, so this summer was super dramatic and award-winning.  Because I was so lonely for BG, this summer I also took a trip up here to see some of the people I missed the most.  The trip involved me touching snakes and lizards, standing by while a train sped past my face, eating dinner with a motley crew of friends and friends of friends, and having the exact same conversation with a drunken co-worker while he was well and truly plastered and then sober the next morning.  This summer was baseball, like every other summer, which is not bad, but cozy.  The Cold War Kids and My Morning Jacket came into my life this summer, so as far as music goes, this summer was pretty damn satisfactory.  You would probably be surprised how many times I carted drunk friends to Waffle House this summer.  Once, the cops were called, and the giant, imposing chef bellowed at people to get out.  They listened.  With good reason, trust and believe.  This summer I almost skipped the best barbeque of my life.  Thank God Martha is so persuasive, otherwise I wouldn’t have the memory of waking up (miraculouslyalone in my own bed at home, to an alarm someone had had the good sense to set for me) still drunk in purple frog pajama shorts on backwards with puncture wounds in both my arms.  No, it wasn’t heroin.  It was almost as trashy, though.  Sigh.  Can that be the motto of my summer?  Or, better yet, my life?  “No, it wasn’t heroin.  It was almost as trashy, though.”  That’s the life of every Daytonian.  This summer…wasn’t all that bad.  I’m glad to be back where I am, but part of me now misses it a little.  This summer, I was spoiled, working at an easy job, making decent money, driving around in a new-to-me car, seeing the people I love as much as possible, while still having PLENTY of me time.  So in the end, this summer was pretty OK.

Mr. Rochester Will Fuck A Bitch Up

If there is anyone in the whole entire world that could ever make me want to punch Jane Eyre in the face, it would be Ellen Page portraying her in a movie.

No, no, no, no, NO.  I am so fucking irritated at this news, I can’t even manage.

Damn:

Really, I don’t even know why in the hell ANYONE would ever rewatch Cold Mountain if they had already seen it once.  Besides the fact that it is godawful long, there is absolutely no happiness in this movie whatsoever.  It will only leave you completely hopeless and utterly depressed.  I feel like I need a stiff drink and a good firm slap across the face just to recover.  Lawd.  Although, if you’re a fan of seeing Jude Law’s naked ass, maybe tune in.  Just make sure you skip through all of the parts with sons getting shot in front of their mother and women getting near-raped while their babies lie on the cold ground outside!  Juuuuuuuuust a suggestion!

Annnnnnd on a side note: whoever is searching for “scream your heart out + drive fast”?  Call me!  Those are two of my favorite activities, often enjoyed simultaneously.  I feel like we should maybe drink together.  Or drive.  But definitely not drink and drive.  Those are two activities I enjoy seperately.

Plane Jane

I’ve been thinking a lot about flying lately.  Mostly because I worked at the Air Show this weekend, where I learned the names of planes like the SR-71 and the F-22 and the B-52, which, up till now I had always believed to be just the name of a band.   Anyways, I spent the weekend schlocking overpriced souvenir airplanes to parents, or rather their whiny children, who demanded to have the B-2 Stealth Bomber, and pouted when they found out we had sold out of the Chinook helicopter.  I really hope these children grow up to go on dates someday, because man, I also interacted with alot of their Future Sleves if they don’t get their shit together.  I’m talking 30 somethings with tube socks and ham radios who show up at the Air Show at 8 in the morning and stay all day and also buy toy airplanes.  I have seen your future, children, and it is lonely….

But also, I’ve been thinking about flying because, in a little less than 3 weeks, I will fly for the first time, down to Florida to visit my oldest sister and her fiance.  I am really quite horrified at the notion of this.  I know that it is highly unlikely that my plane will go down in flames, but even as I sit here writing this, I feel like I’m definitely jinxing myself… Sorry, fellow flyers!  If the plane goes down, it’s definitely because this random girl in Ohio thought it might happen!  Honestly though, I have no idea how I’m going to keep myself calm, but plans definitely include listening to “Flight 180″ on repeat and averting my eyes from the windows.  I really don’t think I could handle being in amongst the clouds for an extended period of time without losing my shit.  And it doesn’t help that I’m traveling with another first time flyer, my older sister Whitney, or that we have a plane switch (or whatever they’re called…. told you, I’m not good at this) in Atlanta, which is supposed to be one massively busy and hellish airport.  Great!  Good times all around!

On a completely unrelated side note, IMDB suggests that if I loved Death At A Funeral (which: I really, really did; any movie containing Matthew McFadyen, poop jokes, and madcap British hijinx?  I’m there), I would also enjoy The Godfather.  I sincerely doubt this, but then again, maybe it is time that I give The Godfather a try….

You Guys:

I am so excited for Center Stage 2.  No, for real.

No, no.  For real.