I’m letting my candle burn low and listening to wistful songs.  I told myself I would be in bed by now.  I told myself I would have finished Sense and Sensibility by now, too.

This is the first time I’ve been homesick, really heartachingly homesick, for BG in a while.  Maybe it’s because I know I’m going to be there this weekend and I just want all the wonderful things that are going to happen to be happening now.  I’m not sure.  All I know is, I went to check the weather there for the next few days and caught a glimpse of the map, just that one corner of the tri-state area, and lost it.

My apartment appears to be sabotaging itself this week, I have to be up in seven hours to walk a half hour in the freeezing cold, money is weighing on my mind once again.  My solution to dealing with adversity is to regress, and right now, it would be lovely to just rewind one year.  To be in a different bed, in a different room, in a different town, a different candle burning and different book on my bedside table.  To have a different tomorrow to live.

 

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